June 29, 2007

Lost love of a versifier…

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:22 pm by cassandra

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“As no pleasure last for long,/So did our love had gone,/So did our merry ended,/And we met never.”

to see my latest post…

http://shenjuti-myvoice.blogspot.com

June 25, 2007

Muse to the poet…

Posted in Musings at 12:15 am by cassandra

writer

I saw you following me on the streets of the metropolis….the place where I wander around….with the sack of manuscripts….
I have seen you following me the dungeons I pass…the place where natives fear to trade…the dingy lanes of conurbation…
I found you following me in the vehicles I journey….the window frames of a motorized tramcar…fleeting images that mind seeks to imprison…
I feel your presence in everyday life I perform…in every phase of a day….in every place that I move….

Who are you (to me)…!!!…

A versifier who picks the scraps of my deconstructed verse…a poet, being stimulated from those fragments…composing an unforeseen epic….
You are the soul whom I have seen…searching in the toxic heap of city waste….the filthy write-ups (that you find refreshing)…
You are the person along for the journey…may be by my side…(I don’t observe as I stare outside)…demanding nothing…only a company in the ride…
[but] I feel that you exist when I start to write…the self whom I tend to pass up…the face that I often glare…recurring like a refrain in a clumsy poetry line…

Then who am I (to you)…!!!…

I remember what you called me once…a muse (that writes)…a figurine in a garden unkempt for years….an angel (that hardly could prove a protector)…
On the streets of the city…when I toss my verse pieces…I have seen you picking them up…standing by the road side…in the golden waves of halogen…(trying to) read the scribbles I made on leafs…can you read them…?…
You said these scraps stir you a lot…
Then am I a muse to you….to a poet….a (urban) folk-teller…
I don’t know….
But when I see you read those nonsense scraps of mine and glimpse your eyes spark…I get reassured…

You cry that I am lost…you mourn that I am dead…but if you seek deep in your heart…I must say…as every penguin has a “heart song” for his mate…so do you, the bard, have a muse for your odes (if you wish to have one)…this muse may not even acknowledge your glare when the eyes meet….might not even care to inspire your verse (when you need her most)…but…O poet, the beloved of the muse…she does somewhere inside, awaits your work of art…

June 16, 2007

Ode to the Wild Words…

Posted in Babbles at 12:31 pm by cassandra

woman writer

I was waiting for the time when the spring will blow its trumpet….
When will the warm breeze blow over me…
When will the gentle wind rouse me from the wintry sleep….

Once a poet called this wind…”Wild”…an exorcist…”breath of Autumn’s beings”…the spirit…the life of personified Autumn…
Like an enchanter…blowing away the dead…decay…pale….phase of life…
Anticipation of a future….revitalization…regeneration…
A life-size assertion…!!!…

This is the wind I was looking for…which will appear like a storm…carrying bits and pieces of words…and will drive the life out of soil…
A touch of life would I feel…in contrast to ‘a claustrophobic state of affair’…a divine touch…
I’ll be possessed…!!!…

Then I realized one day…
I mistook love for this wind…a muse for motivation…angel for tranquility…
Love was the rain…and washed away my words…
Muse was buried…in the darkness of the soil…
The angel I longed…dated back in history…
Where am I now…was I living in a world of fantasy…???…or I lost it…because of the foolish me…
I don’t know…!!!…

This should end my writings on writing…I have realized…even if I search for years…I’ll not find what really these words are doing to me…
And will remain a poor soul…eternally in quest of words…and will go on try to arrange them…shape them…in a strange sense of meaning…
I give up…!!!…

June 14, 2007

a word on WORDS…(nothing to write)

Posted in Babbles at 12:09 am by cassandra

writing-2

At times when I am all alone…nowhere to fool around…or…no works to perform…I prefer to write…scribble…and savor the enduring pen-crafts of consciousness…
And that is the time…!!!…when I face my self…a persona that is hardly known to any one…not even me…!!!…

This is not my first attempt to know the chore of these words…but the desire it evokes…is still a mystery for me…series of phases…that keeps me alive…a process…that makes me…a woman…!!!…

On occasions I am really charged with scores of ideas….at that moment, emotively I don’t need to injure those leafy pages…the words then tend to flow ceaselessly…electrified in a way that they even don’t feel like waiting for me to guide…
But times like now…when I can’t find anything to write…or loose hold of my words…or…when all of my ideas vanish into thin air…I struggle…violently I look for them…a mad woman in search of abstraction…
Can’t locate them…!!!…

But I know…it is a cycle…once again the time comes…when I see them from a far distant island…Pages are once again soft…orgasmic progression of pen…overflowing ink…set of secret languages delightfully taking a shape…
I conceive…!!!…

A mystic effect on the writer it forms…transforms itself to be something paranormal…
No more a preserved text in a medium…not just a sign or a symbol…not a dated history…but…a web that entangles a self called writer…a claustrophobic state of affair…the poor soul scratches the pages of notebook with her nail-nib…
A piece is born…!!!…

June 7, 2007

Cassandra fable…

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:20 pm by cassandra

faceless

to see my latest post…

http://shenjuti-myvoice.blogspot.com

She Deserves……

Posted in Musings at 12:18 am by cassandra

Earnest Allison window to the soul

She is struck in a remote island (good for her)…often isolated by fiery storm…delimited by towering cliffs….mercilessly rock-strewn…under judgmental annihilation…implausible survival…!!!

Have mercy…(please!!!)

No winter…no summer…an eternal struggle…ceaseless battle…with the turbulent ocean…in a frail-wood canvas…
Even if she is dead…the planks…for her coffin are hard to come by…
Howls of the sea…camouflage her keen face….she is no longer the muse…!!!

She can see her own reflection on the water…
Water…!!!…salty…brackish…pungent…
A tragic struggle (that’s exactly what she deserves…tragic destructive muse)…the outer conflict between a dominating persona (for the poet) and a power beyond and above it…the primitive…the disposition of modern time is curiously confused…

She deserves…!!!

Let her die…a cruel death…a hungry monster ever on the lookout for human (poet) victim…
Wailing…roaring throughout…fighting the powerful…let her die an ugly death…
She was a killer…a disastrous power…an implacable foe…

Oh poet….!!!…you were a fool to love her…she will make you vanish into thin air…before that; curse her to death…

June 5, 2007

cassandra weeping…

Posted in Babbles at 2:38 pm by cassandra

fant-1.jpg

Cried Apollo in Hyperion: “I strive to search wherefore I am so sad / Until a melancholy numbs my limbs.”

True…a sense of loss…melancholy…if really exists….kind of pre-empts the attention of poet’s (also the muse who writes) imagination and permanence…appearance and reality…thought and sensation…quiescent and rousing….
This oscillation….restlessness…in its essence…might…fluctuate from altruistic idealism…to selfish hedonism…
Poet’s quest for permanence…a lifelong spiritual guard….goes against…his awareness of human mutability….

…”If I am destined to be happy with you here, how short is the longest life!”…

Poet chases the eternal vanishing figure of his muse….in a mood of profound dejection….the aching heart….might be…metaphoric for the state of mind…key to which…is the mythological allusion to the river Lethe…the drowsy numbness…regressive movement…(sorry poet!!!)

…”if it were now to die / I were now to be most happy”…

Now the muse….what she goes through….suffering…?…agony…?…wretched…?…a Grecian urn…un-calendared past…un-divined future…defeats (tries to) the ruthless exactions of mortal plague…the eternally vanishing figure…most explicit exegesis of the crux…(disgraceful!!!)

The mourning poet cannot hear the mourning muse…he can at best….internalize the image…the symbolic muse…supreme power of art (witty)…ideal beauty (not pretty)…
Driven by his own artistic sensibility…poet…is trapped in the dozy deadness of reflex creativity…

(I really have no idea what this piece is about….just felt an urge to write….)

June 3, 2007

what if the Archangel dies…

Posted in Musings at 11:28 pm by cassandra

leonardo2b

I’ve been thinking for a long time…what could have happened if all the muse of this earth were dead…or…u can say…if they did not exist at all…?…

Nothing….!!!….

All the fairy tales that survive…..the entire princess…all the prince….and their Fairy Godmother…..would have vanished into thin air…..
Cinderella….Snow White…Rapunzel…the Sleeping Beauty…..even today’s Princess Fiona…..no guardian angel…..hah!
And….what would have happened to that well-known citation…?…`and they lived happily ever after’…witty…!!!
No more of the prince waiting outside the castle …when would she through her snake like hair….?…
No more of that kiss….that might bring her back from the fatal slumber…
No more of prince….looking for the perfect pair of feet for the shoes he carrying….

No more of Fairy land…!!!…

No more of writing…!!!….
Bang…!!!…
What a funny story…!!!…
Is this anywhere written that a muse is essential to write…?…you might site a poet…(for a mythological muse)….where he justifies the ways of God to men….you might also talk about some sonnets where you observe (u might also get confused…)…a man or a women to evoke the poetic spirit….but….is it obligatory….?…
What if the muse is dead…or….she does not exist any more…
It was from a film (Blood Diamond)…the protagonist truly said that he sometimes mourn that God (muse if I say) will not forgive us for what we do to each other, then he thinks that God (again the muse if I say) has left this place long before…(funny)…

Every time I write….I look for the literary value of my piece…. but…I don’t expect any critical comment on this…. (this piece is not high enough to get any critical observation either)…but…really wanted to know….what if this so called muse….never ever existed…or…goes back to her dwelling place….or….was so lethargic…resulting an indifference….!!!….

No conclusion….poet changes his muse…he changes his mode of writing…he claims….a muse is desired…he mourns…the muse is gone….but never feels…in this world of web…the muse can also get lost….!!!…

June 1, 2007

Making love through words…

Posted in Musings at 2:38 pm by cassandra

book page

“I want to be your book which you will continuously touch, flip through the pages, write your notes and comments over my body…”

Let’s not waste time deciding as to what words stand for us…..but the act….that our words perform….is something surely divine….the undertone of silence…the resonance of those words….if we really need to describe…alluring….or…worship…!!!…

Can’t even recollect when we really started….started playing with words…but I can remember…those words were then a fun to play with….a sweet little vibrant butterfly….that made our life blissful…did we then really think…that a day might come when we’ll make love through words….?….
Make love…!!!…true….and why not….?…the very day we decided (or it just happened) to Fall…did not we mumble….”here we start”…
Start a new life….a new dawn….with a new sun…soaked in the golden emanation of life….the only mode of communication…words…!!!…

We sometimes evoke our past….through words…of course…
Past…outrageous recapitulation..?…in the darkness of night….the over flow of animosity…nauseating…!!!…
That is the time…when your venomous words fill me up….bitchy, destructive, noxious impulse…are these the same very words…?…(soliloquy)…!!!…

Now about the love….once again…intoxicated, rapturous, wild emotions…stroking every branch of the Tree…locating ways to spring out all passion…and…as soon as we reach the emotional (lingual) high…phonated orgasm…the words gains its pinnacle…(breathtaking)…!!!…